old age

so its about 12.11 on Friday night well Saturday morning and I’m really bored I just watched a movie umm December boys with harry potter in it, and it really got me thinking (which I do way to often on crap subjects) what will my life me like, as in the end. Death. What will happen shortly before what will my life be like years before it what it will be like when the monitor says only but beeeeeeeeeeep? So I texted some people to try and talk to them about it no reply that’s probably because it’s the earliest morning can be but still is that what my old age be like waking up every morning wondering if it will end that day or the next. not hearing from anyone, from the past, my old friends, sisters the people that shaped my life losing contact and every few weeks getting a call from someone telling me that one of my best friends from childhood had past away then the next it's my favourite teacher and then a sister. Something that just makes me wanna end it myself. And right whilst I’m pondering all this shit, I’m fuckin scared. Right to my very heart my throat feels hoarse..... sleeping will be hard tonightthinking blows sometimes I wish I was retarded like Daniel or something and not think about things.... actually that’s foolish everyone would have thought about death it would be inhuman not to have (<--- that’s off the subject)bye

Where is the love?
Often written on walls, desk and in hiphop songs.
But a great question still. There is no love in peoples heart, minds or actions.
Just selfishness, insults and lies.
Definition of love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another personA feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
It’s not in Queechy, in society and its not in people.I know I’m being harsh but it’s true not many people go out and say “I going to be loving today”;
I’m going stick up for the less fortunate,spare my changeand make friends with a weird person.
i've done that in a day and had the right attitude about it.
but im no saint, only the true living lovers do it everyday for the right reasons.
and one more question for you
Who loves their enemy's?

so fast!!!

everything moves so fast
if you just sit and watch everything that goes by.
The people that just come and go past you without a care or thought for you.
Everyone concerned with their own agenda.
Sitting and thinking at lunch whilst the basketballer’s run jump and try to ''own'' each other and the groups of girls gossiping and sharing secrets.
She would come over sit next to me, pretend to talk to me. Patronising.
I really wonder if anyone thinks like I do. About society, about how wrong things are in the world, about life, death and higher things than how their make up is and who’s going out with whom.
Why don’t people question thing instead of just following the world agenda.
Life just passing by like that, just sit sometimes in a busy place quieten your mind and consider abnormal things.

^^^^ i don't like it much
Do you?

out of reach

she's out of reach
a finger length away
the lines of communication the only barrier
we both fell niether of us close enough to hold onto eachother
she sits three spots away from me, too far.
i've become unknown to her, like fraction rules you learnt in grade 6
i must move on dwelling will only tear
me the circumstances common and simple the outcome hurtful.
if my confidence my was greater and my strength stronger i could have tried more instead of pondering possible outcomes and endings
things could have been extroardinary

constricted

this is bad because im meant to be doing homework now but i need to post a new blogconstrictioni feel so constricted about my life, like i can't express to people my potential and feelings. how i truelly act and think. i want to get out there and inspire people, i want to talk and make a difference in peoples life, not like going out and preaching to polititions and presidents, but just making a diffence to friends, randoms and school mates, even if its just giving them something new to think about or making them feel better with a joke. i have all these thoughts and ideals that i want to get and for more people to read and affect more poeple and the only outlet i'v found so far is these crappy blogs.i've had like 30 comments how lame considering the thinking i've put into it.haha this was gay
Raquel cómo i de largo para usted su destello de los ojos con la belleza más rara

saved

Once upon a time in a dark hellish place my mum and my dad were displaced, all my friends were gone and my life was in tears things were really to hard, then when it all look its worst it all started to change when you came into my sight.Chorus; you’ve saved me from the darkness you’ve brought me out of the nightmare you’ve protected me from evil and sent me into the light.....Verse 1; when your not here my world is so dark, by my self in this world all alone when your not here my heart in pieces and my soul is on fire but cold when you are with me I am so complete when you not I’m nothing but dust.....Chorus; you’ve saved me from the darkness you’ve brought me out of the nightmare you’ve protected me from evil and sent me into the lightVerse 2; in my life I’ve faced many hardships so much doubt, deceit and distress, why did they leave me alone in the dark, left me alone in the shadows, the pain and the suffering I had to go through just find my way to a light pathExtended; Once upon a time in a dark hellish place my mum and my dad were displaced, all my friends were gone and my life was in tears things were really to hard but then you came along healed all the wounds and that’s when I was complete. ....Chorus; you’ve saved me from the darkness you’ve brought me out of the nightmare you’ve protected me from evil and sent me into the light.i was going through my old files and stuff and i found this and just fixed it up a bit and thought i'd post it as a blog, hope you like it i wrote it quite a while ago and it first wasn't intended to be about me but it has meaning now more than it ever could have had before i knew god.

lonliness

I’m feeling pretty alone right now.I’m alone right now, depressed if you will. I’m sitting here thinking about friends, school, life and tings beyond that.Except the bad this that this is becoming a very regular thing, I sit here writing depressing little notes into the little updates thing that everyone see's. I mean I’ve got a fair few friends, (good friends sometimes) Mitch, Owen, Jordy and Lochie. And yet I’m still lonely. Maybe it’s a female problem, it probably is, and it usually is. But what can I do about it, nothing not a thing. I mean I’m pretty depressed sometimes but not like I’m about to go Slitzy Mcgee and slice myself up, that’s just stupid. I just sit here and think that’s all, just run all of these little thoughts through my head. I’m just being melodramatic I know but I don’t care. I hear all these things from friends like, even if you’re sad and lonely and in a pit of depression god’s light will still warm you, he will be there for you. But I think about that I don’t think about I really believe because I just ask I don’t receive. I spose millions of people have it harder, I guess I gotta open a can of harden the **** uphaha you thought I was gunna swear but I didn’t.