a typical goodnight

After a night of nothingness, besides watching episode after episode of Naruto and waiting for friends to reply.
I take my headphones off.
Close down MySpace and shut down the computer.
On my journey to the other end of the house
I stop at the fridge to get a glass of cold milk and a panadol for the pain in my legs.
I get to my room
put my phone on the charger
maybe send out a message to someone I know wont reply
the tinge of loneliness and cold speedily comes, I roll over and think.....
just think, about everything
all the conversations, my friends and the possibility's
I'm pretty sure everyone does the same thing exactly like I do
I dunno it just seems so special to me
thinking.....
I've been told I'm a thinker before
a friend wished she could be like a fly stuck on fly paper, to my thoughts and imaginations
I thought that very intriguing.
lying in bed waiting for sleep sucks
I'm afraid of sleeping
I don't know why, I just am
so lie there eyes wide open
thinking...
just thinking.......

That confusing life thing.

I hate trying to figure life out. This thing that could be a one shot at everything. I can't understand or fathom existence. Hell, if there is a God. There must be a master plan for us. Either that or we were just created by a big coincidence. But if so then what, what does that mean for us by his perspective. Does he just give us this thing called a bible and put us in a time where society is filled with shallow, judgmental hypocrites, TV stars and action movies? Born, married, kids, die, the end? I can't imagine or contemplate an actual after life, I can't feel it. Life is just so confusing. I can’t wait to be old and wise after having a life's experience at living. I guess we are meant to live not knowing what we are here for, just to live and exist till that final moment when it’s all revealed. Living, loving and then dying.

love i spose

love is strange
love is hard
love is joy
love is pain
love i think in all my thoughts and wisdom is one of the hardest things in this life to interpretate
(besides maths extended)
love on a personal level i say is the way to true happiness
loving another human as an equal
loving those around you just because you can is what keeps the world from destruction
unconditional love is what makes us human and not just beings.
we must love if not just to lose yourself

"Even after all this time
The sun never says to the earth, "You owe me."
Look what happens with a Love like that!
—It lights the whole Sky." (Hafiz)

having altruistic love makes a great person
forgiving, compassion and love and a wild heart


thats a nights ramblings for you