old age

so its about 12.11 on Friday night well Saturday morning and I’m really bored I just watched a movie umm December boys with harry potter in it, and it really got me thinking (which I do way to often on crap subjects) what will my life me like, as in the end. Death. What will happen shortly before what will my life be like years before it what it will be like when the monitor says only but beeeeeeeeeeep? So I texted some people to try and talk to them about it no reply that’s probably because it’s the earliest morning can be but still is that what my old age be like waking up every morning wondering if it will end that day or the next. not hearing from anyone, from the past, my old friends, sisters the people that shaped my life losing contact and every few weeks getting a call from someone telling me that one of my best friends from childhood had past away then the next it's my favourite teacher and then a sister. Something that just makes me wanna end it myself. And right whilst I’m pondering all this shit, I’m fuckin scared. Right to my very heart my throat feels hoarse..... sleeping will be hard tonightthinking blows sometimes I wish I was retarded like Daniel or something and not think about things.... actually that’s foolish everyone would have thought about death it would be inhuman not to have (<--- that’s off the subject)bye

Where is the love?
Often written on walls, desk and in hiphop songs.
But a great question still. There is no love in peoples heart, minds or actions.
Just selfishness, insults and lies.
Definition of love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another personA feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
It’s not in Queechy, in society and its not in people.I know I’m being harsh but it’s true not many people go out and say “I going to be loving today”;
I’m going stick up for the less fortunate,spare my changeand make friends with a weird person.
i've done that in a day and had the right attitude about it.
but im no saint, only the true living lovers do it everyday for the right reasons.
and one more question for you
Who loves their enemy's?

so fast!!!

everything moves so fast
if you just sit and watch everything that goes by.
The people that just come and go past you without a care or thought for you.
Everyone concerned with their own agenda.
Sitting and thinking at lunch whilst the basketballer’s run jump and try to ''own'' each other and the groups of girls gossiping and sharing secrets.
She would come over sit next to me, pretend to talk to me. Patronising.
I really wonder if anyone thinks like I do. About society, about how wrong things are in the world, about life, death and higher things than how their make up is and who’s going out with whom.
Why don’t people question thing instead of just following the world agenda.
Life just passing by like that, just sit sometimes in a busy place quieten your mind and consider abnormal things.

^^^^ i don't like it much
Do you?

out of reach

she's out of reach
a finger length away
the lines of communication the only barrier
we both fell niether of us close enough to hold onto eachother
she sits three spots away from me, too far.
i've become unknown to her, like fraction rules you learnt in grade 6
i must move on dwelling will only tear
me the circumstances common and simple the outcome hurtful.
if my confidence my was greater and my strength stronger i could have tried more instead of pondering possible outcomes and endings
things could have been extroardinary

constricted

this is bad because im meant to be doing homework now but i need to post a new blogconstrictioni feel so constricted about my life, like i can't express to people my potential and feelings. how i truelly act and think. i want to get out there and inspire people, i want to talk and make a difference in peoples life, not like going out and preaching to polititions and presidents, but just making a diffence to friends, randoms and school mates, even if its just giving them something new to think about or making them feel better with a joke. i have all these thoughts and ideals that i want to get and for more people to read and affect more poeple and the only outlet i'v found so far is these crappy blogs.i've had like 30 comments how lame considering the thinking i've put into it.haha this was gay
Raquel cómo i de largo para usted su destello de los ojos con la belleza más rara

saved

Once upon a time in a dark hellish place my mum and my dad were displaced, all my friends were gone and my life was in tears things were really to hard, then when it all look its worst it all started to change when you came into my sight.Chorus; you’ve saved me from the darkness you’ve brought me out of the nightmare you’ve protected me from evil and sent me into the light.....Verse 1; when your not here my world is so dark, by my self in this world all alone when your not here my heart in pieces and my soul is on fire but cold when you are with me I am so complete when you not I’m nothing but dust.....Chorus; you’ve saved me from the darkness you’ve brought me out of the nightmare you’ve protected me from evil and sent me into the lightVerse 2; in my life I’ve faced many hardships so much doubt, deceit and distress, why did they leave me alone in the dark, left me alone in the shadows, the pain and the suffering I had to go through just find my way to a light pathExtended; Once upon a time in a dark hellish place my mum and my dad were displaced, all my friends were gone and my life was in tears things were really to hard but then you came along healed all the wounds and that’s when I was complete. ....Chorus; you’ve saved me from the darkness you’ve brought me out of the nightmare you’ve protected me from evil and sent me into the light.i was going through my old files and stuff and i found this and just fixed it up a bit and thought i'd post it as a blog, hope you like it i wrote it quite a while ago and it first wasn't intended to be about me but it has meaning now more than it ever could have had before i knew god.

lonliness

I’m feeling pretty alone right now.I’m alone right now, depressed if you will. I’m sitting here thinking about friends, school, life and tings beyond that.Except the bad this that this is becoming a very regular thing, I sit here writing depressing little notes into the little updates thing that everyone see's. I mean I’ve got a fair few friends, (good friends sometimes) Mitch, Owen, Jordy and Lochie. And yet I’m still lonely. Maybe it’s a female problem, it probably is, and it usually is. But what can I do about it, nothing not a thing. I mean I’m pretty depressed sometimes but not like I’m about to go Slitzy Mcgee and slice myself up, that’s just stupid. I just sit here and think that’s all, just run all of these little thoughts through my head. I’m just being melodramatic I know but I don’t care. I hear all these things from friends like, even if you’re sad and lonely and in a pit of depression god’s light will still warm you, he will be there for you. But I think about that I don’t think about I really believe because I just ask I don’t receive. I spose millions of people have it harder, I guess I gotta open a can of harden the **** uphaha you thought I was gunna swear but I didn’t.

Q/A

mysteries are all around
who ate the last timtam, who wasted all the hot water, whats the answer to this maths problem???
or why can't i score a goal in soccer, i train hard every day but it never pays off??? why does everyone wanna fight me all the time? what did i do? why don't girls talk to me? why can't everyone just get along and try not insulting eachother?
( hahahaha im being such a hipacrit by saying that)
or why doesn't god help EVERYONE. why can't the homeless find shelter? can't the weak say i am strong? why isn't it easier? why can't i be a nicer person?
i wish i had the answers, i wish i had the answers to all of my blogs, to all of the questions life posses. to have wisdom.
i wish i could help more people, give more people answers???
answers answers answers
i wish i had more of them, but as they say if wishes we're fishes the world be an ocean and the world would be funnier because people with funny accents would say fish and chips more.
i spose you can't spend you life wishing for anwers and hoping they will magically apear and smack ya in the cheek bone like a ps2 controller.this blogs isn't that great not as good as othersbut hey i can't think of anything

girls

women ehh boys,
a foreign bunch, not of our world but a user of its bath rooms (off robot chicken)
they are not a bad species, some of the time. they are beautiful., but shallow.
they can be sweet they can be sour, they can be all different colour.
they are beautiful. they are all around, everywhere, but there never seems to be many nice ones, any caring ones, any loving ones. well loving ones of me that is. its always the fella next to me that gets the choice babe. there are probably cooler ones than i realise, i just have my eyes closed, sorry to the girls that i have been mean to or hurt, sorry im a jerk sometimes. if we could have met outside of school, we probably could have been better friends. (im actually not talking to anyone specific) im just waiting for the right girl, i'll probably spend my life waiting. i guess at the moment im better off on my own.
love your smile.
im gunna be nicer i promise
they are beautiful, and precious, remember that boys.
and bro's before hoes, except if she's pro(hahahah)

underdog

Underdog..Verse1- One more trip down....To the lost and found ....To find your heart that the ....Quarterback punk dropped on the ground ....One more trip down ....To the lost and found ....To find your heart ...... ..Chorus- Left out, the one they picked last for the big ball game ....Beat up after class ....No doubt, you'll show 'em one day, you are not the same ....You won't be the last one anymore ...... ..One long walk down....Through the hallway now....You're finding out that you don't fit in this time around....One long walk, the hallway now....You feel left out...... ..Left out, the one they picked last for the big ball game....Beat up after class....No doubt, you'll show 'em one day you are not the same....You won't be the last one anymore...... ..Left out, the one they picked last for the big ball game....Beat up after class....No doubt, you'll show 'em one day you are not the same....You won't be the last one anymore...... ..Left out, the one they picked last for the big ball game....Beat up after class....No doubt, you'll show them one day you are not the same....You won't be the last one.......
.. i love this song it talks about the nerd of your class or school, not necessarily the biggest weirdo or most unsporty, but the one who is in between, the one who has his hopes set high for the ''popular group'' but gets shot down harshly by them and so he goes to the next level of popularity but, they seem to like him cos he's got that small contact with the ''popular people'' so he chills out there its cool but he's never really part of the group just like a third wheel. so he drifts around, one day hangin out with the popular group but just standing there acting like he's part of the group, the next just messin around with losers. but when your a drifter and not part of a group others pick on you like cos you stand out cos your not always part of a group. thats where the random acts of violence come from. but one day you will strive for the top. you'll concentrate in class and stop insulting the guy who's almost in the same situation as so that you seem cooler. you'll show them one day you weren't the nobody, you'll show them one day you were not the geek or the fatty or the ugly one, you were and are a ruby from a mountain of rocks, the one gold bar hidden at the bottom of the box. ..
..you show em your the Underdog...
....
..ahaha that last bit is corny as haha. im such a tool. ..
......
gran esperanza de Haha del bebé del escritor del simo usted tiene gusto de ella,
dios del amor con todo su corazón y toda su alma y toda su fuerza, y yo creemos que él le detendrá en el más oscuro de horasoh yea spanish mate

where is god

one of the biggest things non-christians say about god is that where is he, like in my other blogs i've stated a child dies like every 4 seconds from starvation, and i pose myself the question. wheres is god? why isn't he saving them? why doesn't he care? im gunna struggle with this one my whole life, but i spose as blink182 said in a song, ''god has a master plan'' so i gotta just believe that or else i'll lose faith. because god is meant to provide, at crash we were asked what do you see god as and someone answered as the provider. but he doesn't seem to provide for everyone. most people in australia live in the top 1% of the worlds wealth. we are provided for but what about the other 99% i can't see him there. yet i still have faith.
actually i think i don't have complete faith, i reckon that until i can completely get a definet answer from myself and come to my conclusion on this topic, because if you have doubts in something you can never truelly believe and thats what god demands.

insults

One of the bad things about society and friendships at Queechy is your not really aloud to show emotions its like you've gotta be this big toughy guy all the time like I've gotta act like I don't care about insults and being rejected and I can't show emotions about liking a girl like really liking a girl like where you just stare at her, just stare from a distance and think about her. You can't talk about this you can't show weakness. I mean mucking around and just saying;oh your gay ;oh your a beaver ;oh mate have you seen your face lately I mean why would your mum keep you;come on then fat boy I'll fight ya and if I cant well I can run you cant so i figure the worst I can get I 3 punch's to the head before you get puffed right. but then you might sit on me.
that sort of thing like everyone has there little defects but sometimes it gets to people. and as for a guys girlfriend its like;dude are you still going out with that chic;why what are you a cop;mate just bang her and dump her.
I don't get why my friends can't just accept who I'm going out with and not insult her I'm trying to have a relationship with someone and all I get from my friends is plain criticism.
most of the time its easier easier to just do work
i wish people would accept people for who they are and what they have and not just insult them for what they aren't

difference

Do you ever feel that you’re not doing enough? Like, you're just sitting there living in the top percentage of the world’s wealth, when every 2 seconds a child dies. He's never done a thing wrong and is completely pure and innocent. All that child’s determination, struggle and will to live was just in vain.

These children are untouched by things of western civilization. They don't conform to the instructions and guide lines of society just to be popular and leave their true friends behind in the distance. No, they stand together with their families, friends and all those in the community. They search their surroundings for food, water and shelter each day just to survive the next. These tiny children who never did a thing to deserve it such a cruel fate. These things make me think. Why don't we do something stop fighting and attacking each other in our own schools, workplaces and homes and actually accomplish something. There are so many problems in the world.
Racism is completely stupid, so god decided to change a person’s colour… it shouldn't change their social standard, it shouldn’t change who their friends with it and it shouldn’t change how they are treated by the other majority of race. Maybe racism is just an excuse to track completely offensive jokes, or maybe in more extreme cases to kill someone. Maybe one race is just jealous of the way another treats it’s people so that’s their excuse to maim, attack and outcast.
P.S this is unfinished I’m going to add more if anyone actually reads this so let me know if you do read it and if it’s any good and not just another teenager posting a meaningless blog that they have become desensitized to.