untitled

lately i've had this recurring dream where im simply standing there hugging a girl who is supposably my girlfriend, we just stand there in a hallway her head burried into my chest
i wake up and i feel great i feel warm wholesome and loved,
but then i get a massive wave lonliness because its not real
many a times i've let girls i feel strongly about slip through my fingers before we are even close i've also hurt girls im close to.

i pride myself on being a friend to girls and i don't notice how many i hurt
i try to be a gentleman when i talk to girls and not to be mean but later i realise the pain in the end was unnoticed

(i guess that last paragraph is a load of shit to most of you)

bella said to me the other night that, the dream will become day the girl will be found, she is with the wrong guys at the moment but she will be hurt and that i will be there for her. that made me happy (good ol bella)

so hopefully this year i will find some great love maybe love is sitting just under my nose being subliminal and sneaky waiting to smack me in the face
hopefully that will happen
hopefully....