My Life in the Park

(Work in progress, soon to be a writing project)


My Life in the Park
My mother would always say to me, "The most wasted of all days are those without a laugh and happiness, so son crack a smile and make the day one worth it," her voice was dry and hoarse from days gone by of recreational drugs.
She was very much a hippie, much like a John Lennon character, a Neil Young fan, always a kind and soft woman. Nowadays she just sits at her antique spinning needle slowly puffing her father’s old pipe. It’s engraved with the cliché "carpe diem". I’m often reminiscent of this when I come to my spot. It’s a comforting image that has always stuck in my mind when thinking in the sun.

At this moment I’m sitting underneath an acorn tree, watching the clouds pass by. This park is my favourite place in the world. A nature preserve by the coast, to my left in the distance, tulip farms dance across the Tablecape horizon, red and yellow the most prominent. To my right, huge and mighty cliffs slightly curved from where the waves break. Where I sit the roses grow from within the black berries, much like how phoenixes fly from within the ashes. I sit here in the partial shade, with the warm and bright sun on my feet, plucking my guitar strings and humming a sweet melody. I know the lyrics but I am not the singer I earnestly wish I could be. I spend so long here sometimes that the people passing by on the footpath nearby think I’m homeless, they think I’m trying to busk or beg for change. I thank them for their generosity and kindness, as it’s a rarity, but I assure them I’m simply doing what I love and that’s enjoying the sun, scenery and those that also pass through here daily for one reason or the other.
There’s an aging skater boy, he’s come from the 70’s and looks like one of those kids in the film clip for ‘forever young’ by youth group. Now he’s old and balding but still cruises along the board walk, listening to an ancient walkman and remember his generation. Also my primary school PE teacher now runs a boot camp and takes his obese, middle-aged office workers for jogs along the causeway, every time I call out “having fun?” or “keep running slackers” to his sweaty, puffing mob as they galumph along the pavement and he gives me thumbs up and a grin. But mostly I’m here for you.


Every evening as the sun is going down; you walk past on your late afternoon stroll. Your long flowing, hazel hair, beautiful brown eyes and you have honestly the best smile I’ve ever seen. It’s hard to think that I dream of you so passionately yet to you I’m invisible. I’ll sit by the tree and hum my tune and you’ll just elegantly pass me by.
I’ll sit and jam for a little while longer, till just before dusk arrives and then journey home to a smoke filled house and knitted, tie-dyed shirts.

I did make something to try and sway you.

A small plaque half way up the tree I lean upon. It reads, “You’re as stunning as the afternoon sky lit red, gleaming with the radiance on the sun, but still with the beauty of the stars in your eyes,” – The guy with the guitar. When you first read it, you stopped and gawked, putting your hands over your mouth in astonishment. You blushed and giggled the rushed away. It made me smile and chuckle to myself, “One day you’ll stop and talk,” I say.
It’s for that smile and chuckle that I try to talk to you every day, because it’s as my mother always said, I don’t want to waste my day and you make the day one worth it.

wanna be war hero (redone)

“Mum I wish the world was different don't you?”
“I wish the world was made of heroes and legends, a reality where I know I could do something and make a difference. Nothing I could do here would help anything, no amount of training, blogs or love would change anything.
They say you’re the most powerful when you’re fighting for something, to protect it, but what is there to fight for? Real strength comes from within, the yearning to save something but what do we have to save?
I wish our world was one where through guts, determination, bruises, beatings and strength I could change something, save something or someone.”
“Mum there’s this inevitable war coming that was forged through greed, hate and deception.
A horrible thing that destroys homes, countries and so, so many lives, yet why do I aspire to be someone who fuels it?
A soldier is a man with a gun, from a town like ours is taking lives for the sake of our country.
For many reasons this man fights
It’s for his land
It’s for his wife, his kids and his friends
It’s for family tradition
It’s to become a man
It’s for his religion
It’s for an adventure”

“Mum, as children I fantasized about being a soldier, we would shoot our friends with our hands and chickenfeed guns. Taking lives is a game”

“I think I will to I'll carry that gun through bullets and smoke while the cases drop and the blood spills. I'll wear my flag with pride the blood of innocence on my fingers will stain for my friends, my country and my love.
Why? The delusions of grandeur of a dreaming child? Because I wish in my life somewhere through my existence I could be a hero”
“Mum I wanna be a war hero!”

what your missing

Hello Geoffrey
It’s your son.
I’m in grade ten, and the best in my SOSE class.
Kym is in college and has failed her P’s twice.
I’m playing in the senior’s team for soccer
Everyone is bigger than me.
Yesterday I got dumped by my girlfriend
And jumped off a 17m high rock naked
Kym works at chickenfeed and earns hundreds of dollars a week
I work at Macca’s and don’t get paid enough.
So far I’m living and awesome brilliant life
And recently I’ve decided
That no more will I think about what has happened
No more sleepless nights pondering possible happenings
No more raging about that of what my father is
And finally no more fucking nightmares
And I don’t care that you’re missing out and I don’t care that you’re not in my life!



p.s this is a message i sent to my dad a few months ago
i used it in my latest english assinment and thought i might put it on here

pp.s don't ask

starlight

At this very moment I’m sitting outside on top of my neighbour’s roof, staring into the sky.
I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while, so after watching a few hours of anime and writing a little blog I ventured out, scaled the fence, layed down and for some reason this is one of the most amazing moments in my life. I knew this would be great but I never imagined I would feel so full or enlightened by this. I'm a very strong believer in that the best things in life are free. I’m very cold though. Gazing into this whirlpool of stars and lights is giving me the most amazing thoughts. It’s just that inspirational. All that's left now is to smile humbly and think about how insignificant I am, it’s ever so belittling. This is probably the most peaceful thing I’ve ever experienced. I could spend hours looking at these stars but I know in my mind this will last forever. There’s no noise, no wind or clouds its just perfect. I really don't want to go to sleep, I’m not tired but its 3.20am so I reckon I should. I’d rather just lay here enjoying this wholesome feeling.
I can tell from these moments of great happiness that my life is going to be amazing...

forgiveness

So I’ve been thinking so much about so many things lately and watching avatar this evening has helped me realize some things. People hold so many petty things against each other. A wise man once told me that learning to forgive is the hardest thing in life to do, but it will be the key to happiness in life. I'm beginning to figure it all out. I believe that through justifying peoples reason for doing something is the key to forgiving them. For example if someone does something wrong by you they must have a reason for doing so, by identifying this and then justifying it. It’s all to do with reasons. I know that I'm going to be a much happier person
I'd be happy for life to turn out with me as an wise man somewhere in between uncle Iroh and uncle Ned. Being a cheerful old guitar playing hedonist, what a dream? Always being able to forgive will mean that you can always love...

maths lesson

when sleep is bestowed nightmares come
the morning brings a gate of freedom
so when the time is brought that path i enter
this day now brings a chance for laughter






if only you knew the meaning



by simon and mitch

happy

I guess I'm happy well content last few days I've had new thoughts idea's on life I've decided to be happy enjoy my friends my schooling my everything because it matters choosing to be happy matters it makes a difference had a couple lets down and average days but choosing not to be let down by lame teachers people pissing me off I don't let those things to ruin my day anymore from now on I'm happy seeing the best in things you'll see me smiling in the sunshine feeling mellow gazing at the clouds